when life gives me a lemon, i'll just make a nice decoration of 25 lemons

Have you ever want just kill yourself,
Or hit by a gigantic truck,
Or just simply think "would it be nice if i dead in my sleep?"
???



I have a totally normal life, i guess... things happens once and twice but never actually bother me too much.
But life gives me a lemon, eventually anyways...

Sometimes i hope i just brave enough to suicide, just sip a baygon or throw my self to a running train wouldn't be so hard.
It's not always about that i could just run away from my problem, but for me it's more like "punishment" to ppl who make me feel that way. In some other times when things just become oit of my control, or when i cry until i barely could breath, i just hope something bad happens to me. Well, it's a pray, it's just some kins of thought i guess.


I know i know, it's just silly to kill myself over a little problem.
It's just... i'll die anyway. If i'm gonna die, i wanna make it by myself.

Isn't that scarry, the moment we know we're alive we also have to prepared for the death?

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